This is powerful. C-PTSD explained eloquently by speaking from your meta view of yourself. Naming the experience as it happens. Yes, this experience will continue to come and go.
Remember to step into the stream, then back out again into reality.
One is something that is already finished in history, when you go back into it, your experience of it will feel like it’s all happening now… that’s what PTSD is.
You already know this, I’m just reminding you in this now. All of us who have our training need someone outside us to remind us this.
As we step back into the stream of the trauma, have someone else nearby to bring you back into present time. Use physical grounding to pull you out of the trauma. Eat something, walk, dance, take pictures with your phone, talk about things actually in the now, listen to something actually making noise currently… all five senses wake up again. and come out of the trauma trance.
This trauma bubble exists because our brains are a miracle.
Our brains create a bubble around the experience, encasing the feelings and sensations within it.
Only when we are safe enough to consciously know (and be reminded) that the event is completely over physically can we dip our toe back into the feelings.
Alex, you were strongly on my mind last night. Reading your essay this morning, I now know why. "Healed, unhealed" - yes. Doesn't that describe in two words the liminal space you've been in for a long, long time? I know we are far apart in miles, but please know I truly care about you and am your friend. Just wanted you to know.
Just a reminder the light may have dimmed from your view, but it never left your body. Your light glows within, even when something blocks it from you. How do I know? Look at all the people you've touched with your writing here. No doubt all the folks you've helped in your professional life as well, and likely personal life (friends, family, furbabies). We stand in the queue to enter the Department of Aliveness to feel the warmth of that light within you. Stay strong!
This took me back to after my accident (was not my fault), how the other driver's insurance company interviewed me over the phone. They tried to instill doubt about fault, and were taking the position that their driver was not responsible. It was chilling, given the fact that I was so traumatized by what happened. I felt that again in your piece. Man, you've really been through it. It's a wonder and a beautiful thing that you came out the other side with the kind of sweetness and clarity you carry. Love, Virg
Alex, wow. It's true healing is not the same as doneness. And time is not linear. Both true. This reminded me a lot of when I was talking to my lawyer during my agonizing two-plus years of divorce proceedings. I remember how I had to prepare for all kinds of questioning.
"The healing was not the same as the doneness. I had confused them. I had treated them as one verb. They were two." I read that sentence twice. I work with people navigating transitions they thought were finished — job loss, identity shifts, the moment the old map stops working. The confusion of healing with arrival is something I'd recognised without finding words for. You found them. Thank you for writing this the hard way.
Oh my gosh. Alex.
This is powerful. C-PTSD explained eloquently by speaking from your meta view of yourself. Naming the experience as it happens. Yes, this experience will continue to come and go.
Remember to step into the stream, then back out again into reality.
One is something that is already finished in history, when you go back into it, your experience of it will feel like it’s all happening now… that’s what PTSD is.
You already know this, I’m just reminding you in this now. All of us who have our training need someone outside us to remind us this.
As we step back into the stream of the trauma, have someone else nearby to bring you back into present time. Use physical grounding to pull you out of the trauma. Eat something, walk, dance, take pictures with your phone, talk about things actually in the now, listen to something actually making noise currently… all five senses wake up again. and come out of the trauma trance.
This trauma bubble exists because our brains are a miracle.
Our brains create a bubble around the experience, encasing the feelings and sensations within it.
Only when we are safe enough to consciously know (and be reminded) that the event is completely over physically can we dip our toe back into the feelings.
Eye droppers full only Alex.
Here for you if talking would help.
Alex, you were strongly on my mind last night. Reading your essay this morning, I now know why. "Healed, unhealed" - yes. Doesn't that describe in two words the liminal space you've been in for a long, long time? I know we are far apart in miles, but please know I truly care about you and am your friend. Just wanted you to know.
Ah... the joys of our broken and sick medical system. Sending love and virtual hugs.❤️
Just a reminder the light may have dimmed from your view, but it never left your body. Your light glows within, even when something blocks it from you. How do I know? Look at all the people you've touched with your writing here. No doubt all the folks you've helped in your professional life as well, and likely personal life (friends, family, furbabies). We stand in the queue to enter the Department of Aliveness to feel the warmth of that light within you. Stay strong!
This took me back to after my accident (was not my fault), how the other driver's insurance company interviewed me over the phone. They tried to instill doubt about fault, and were taking the position that their driver was not responsible. It was chilling, given the fact that I was so traumatized by what happened. I felt that again in your piece. Man, you've really been through it. It's a wonder and a beautiful thing that you came out the other side with the kind of sweetness and clarity you carry. Love, Virg
So proud of you and the example of resilience that radiates off you🫰🏽
Alex, wow. It's true healing is not the same as doneness. And time is not linear. Both true. This reminded me a lot of when I was talking to my lawyer during my agonizing two-plus years of divorce proceedings. I remember how I had to prepare for all kinds of questioning.
I am looking forward to reading Part 2.
"The healing was not the same as the doneness. I had confused them. I had treated them as one verb. They were two." I read that sentence twice. I work with people navigating transitions they thought were finished — job loss, identity shifts, the moment the old map stops working. The confusion of healing with arrival is something I'd recognised without finding words for. You found them. Thank you for writing this the hard way.
You have me wondering if there ever is a final after?
Time is not linear- Good to know and remember.