11 Comments
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Linda Gumper's avatar

This is a great article! I actually gave myself the whole year to tackle this. My favorite word is no. Boundaries are bettet and now I am getting clear focus.

Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Thank you, Linda! I so appreciate you! It can take a year and beyond to tackle the simple “no.” I love how you mention that your boundaries are better and now you have clearer focus. That is what the simple, clear, no does for us!

Sandra Pawula's avatar

Alex, Circumstances have allowed me to say more than one clean no! It feels so right and good. Thank you for the permission. Most of us need the nudge and the encouragement. It can take a lifetime to truly honor ourselves, so good to get started early.

Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

It always feels so right and good!

“It can take a lifetime to truly honor ourselves, so good to get started early.” This is a truly profound statement. It will echo in my mind. Thank you for sharing. 🧡

Mack Collier's avatar

Hey Alex, I love the focus on the moment, and on giving yourself permission to say 'No' to something. I love my long-term plans as much as anyone, but those long-term goals won't get met if you focus too much on tomorrow, and miss today.

On the other hand, if you stay grounded in today and in the moment and focus on what you CAN CONTROL, then over time, progress will compound and before you know it, tomorrow's goals have taken care of themselves. Thanks for resetting us on what's important!

Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Hey Mack - thank you for your reply. I have spent so much time either in the future or in the past, and missed so much of my life because of it. NO LONGER! And it is so interesting - more and more, as I continue to reinforce the present, meaningful outcomes like fulfillment continue to increase and elevate.

Shruthi Vidhya Sundaram's avatar

Saying NO is one thing. Saying NO without over justifying or feeling guilty is a whole other thing! But in the last few months I believe I've started to get better at it one step at a time. And how liberating has it been???!!!

Thank you so much for this Alex!

Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

It is so hard to say no sometimes without justifying… so hard to not add a little explainer. AHHH. But it is so worth it.

Shruthi Vidhya Sundaram's avatar

And yes! What the fuck???!!!! It's feb already????? I feel like I've been living inside a weird time loop!

Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

SUCH A WEIRD TIME LOOP!

Amy Brown's avatar

What a wise essay & wonderful offerings. I’ll try to take advantage!