Alex, reading this was like putting a mirror to my face. So uncanny the parallels I find sometimes with what you share. At the beginning of the new year, I found myself in a very similar somatic place - clenching my jaw, armoring up with my neck. My migraines got worse again. That's when I started digging a bit more into the nervous system response to chronic oxidative stress (and, in my case, this is directly related to long-term, complex care of Sarah).
So I have been setting some parameters, both internally and in my relationships. First, I decided I am going to focus on ONE THING this year, and that is getting my manuscript picked up by a publisher. I have decided to put other projects aside, or allow them to simmer a bit longer than I initially wanted/planned.
And just today I jotted some notes in my notebook about how to craft an email to the people in my orbit about how I am beyond capacity and need them to take the reigns when it comes to initiating contact in our relationship. I have been the one over-functioning for years, and people have come to expect that of me. So I think, in essence, they don't often think about reaching out to me first, and then when they haven't heard from me in a long time, they get hurt. So I am going to work on crafting a clear, concise, and compassionate email to serve as a communication tool of transparency. My friends/family can decide how they want to receive it and whether they, too, feel maxed out and can't take the lead in initiating contact or times for us to get together.
Ugh, I completely understand on the migraines. Different cause, but same outcome, and migraines are just such a terrible outcome. Chronic oxidative stress is such a multifaceted influencer of so many somatic elements.
Having a parameter around one focus is SO IMPRESSIVE! I'm thrilled for you, because that is going to be such a game changer. Relief just comes forward, even though I know that it might also feel a bit foreign to only have one focus. Congratulations on taking that big step for you.
Also, what a wonderful plan to craft that email! Its a compassionate response still to these people in your life, but it truly honors YOU in the process, that you are over-capacity, and that you need others to partner with you in the relationship. You always find such creative, compassion-forward solutions. I'm always so impressed!
I really appreciate that affirmation and encouragement, Alex. I am struggling to motivate myself to write that email and set those boundaries. So it helps to read this from you today.
I would like to share part of a prayer by Olivia F. Raheem from her book Rest Is Sacred. 'Give us the courage to slow down, rest, and be at ease in a world that thrives and capitalizes on our exhaustion.' Excellent book! Alexander, thank you taking a moment to pause and to share.
Thank you, Yvonne, for sharing this beautiful prayer. I love how it invokes courage - it certainly takes courage to slow down, rest, and be at ease... particularly in our world. This is such a beautiful addition. I appreciate you, Yvonne! 🧡
Thanks, I needed that! Hands around my cup, eyes closed, shoulders down, just for this minute.
Thank you for reading and being here with me (and with us!). 🧡
Above, also, pup in my lap 🐾
“officially unavailable to the hustle story”…this, I LOVE.
Yep! Officially unavailable now. 🧡 That damn hustle story.
4 steps to proper being
Cool coffee mug, happy to see your smile again. Putting my phone away for the night now. 😉🧡
Thank you! You won't be able to get rid of me now. Muahaha! Glad you put the phone away, even for a little bit. 🧡
Sometimes I think you live in my head. I "just real quick" a lot - although I've been practicing the pause. Somedays better than others!
Haha! I promise I don't live in your head!
Somedays are certainly easier than others for me too. But practicing the pause is always worthwhile. 🧡
I did this in the afternoon, and it just felt so good. I just ended up staring at the fan and breathing for a good 5 minutes, and it feels so good!
I'm so thrilled. Plus fans are just simply mesmerizing! 🧡
A good reminder!
Alex, reading this was like putting a mirror to my face. So uncanny the parallels I find sometimes with what you share. At the beginning of the new year, I found myself in a very similar somatic place - clenching my jaw, armoring up with my neck. My migraines got worse again. That's when I started digging a bit more into the nervous system response to chronic oxidative stress (and, in my case, this is directly related to long-term, complex care of Sarah).
So I have been setting some parameters, both internally and in my relationships. First, I decided I am going to focus on ONE THING this year, and that is getting my manuscript picked up by a publisher. I have decided to put other projects aside, or allow them to simmer a bit longer than I initially wanted/planned.
And just today I jotted some notes in my notebook about how to craft an email to the people in my orbit about how I am beyond capacity and need them to take the reigns when it comes to initiating contact in our relationship. I have been the one over-functioning for years, and people have come to expect that of me. So I think, in essence, they don't often think about reaching out to me first, and then when they haven't heard from me in a long time, they get hurt. So I am going to work on crafting a clear, concise, and compassionate email to serve as a communication tool of transparency. My friends/family can decide how they want to receive it and whether they, too, feel maxed out and can't take the lead in initiating contact or times for us to get together.
Happy you are back, Alex. So happy!
Ugh, I completely understand on the migraines. Different cause, but same outcome, and migraines are just such a terrible outcome. Chronic oxidative stress is such a multifaceted influencer of so many somatic elements.
Having a parameter around one focus is SO IMPRESSIVE! I'm thrilled for you, because that is going to be such a game changer. Relief just comes forward, even though I know that it might also feel a bit foreign to only have one focus. Congratulations on taking that big step for you.
Also, what a wonderful plan to craft that email! Its a compassionate response still to these people in your life, but it truly honors YOU in the process, that you are over-capacity, and that you need others to partner with you in the relationship. You always find such creative, compassion-forward solutions. I'm always so impressed!
I really appreciate that affirmation and encouragement, Alex. I am struggling to motivate myself to write that email and set those boundaries. So it helps to read this from you today.
I would like to share part of a prayer by Olivia F. Raheem from her book Rest Is Sacred. 'Give us the courage to slow down, rest, and be at ease in a world that thrives and capitalizes on our exhaustion.' Excellent book! Alexander, thank you taking a moment to pause and to share.
Thank you, Yvonne, for sharing this beautiful prayer. I love how it invokes courage - it certainly takes courage to slow down, rest, and be at ease... particularly in our world. This is such a beautiful addition. I appreciate you, Yvonne! 🧡
Thank you so much for your kind reply. I also appreciate you. ❤
A beautiful, refreshing read as we should ease into more of this in the new year.
Thanks for sharing, Alex!
Thank you, Jimmy, for sharing!
Glad you're back on the horse. I'm glad to be following you and your brilliant writing and insights.
Thank you, Eddie! So grateful to be here with you as well. 🧡
'The pause that refreshes'. These are great tools for checking in. Thanks so much!
Thank you, my friend! Hopefully a small, simple set. 🧡