Ahhh this is so timely, as I too find it hard to simply just receive. I need to remind myself that allowing someone to gift me time/space/physical items is too a gift back to them, to allow them to be generous. It also helps me acknowledge the kinds of relationships I want to cultivate with my loved ones and the wider community.
Sarah, this resonates so much. That line you wrote about letting someone give being a gift back to them really landed with me. I forget that part all the time. Receiving can feel passive on the surface, yet it actually creates space for generosity to exist.
Alex - Love this story and that you put into context why the pre-birthday photo means so much to you. And you get to see if as proof on the regular. Priceless really.
Along these lines, different as it is, my suggestion would be purposely take your birthday off if it lands during the week and maybe even go ride that scooter around to your favorite places.
Thank you for this, Bronce. Your phrase “proof on the regular” really stayed with me. That’s exactly what the photo feels like. A small piece of evidence that joy showed up and someone thought it mattered enough to preserve.
I love everything about this. Thank you for reminding me. I do take a lot of pictures. Mostly when I find joy and beauty in something ordinary. That gives me pause. But you are right and printing what matters.
I appreciate this reflection, Heidi. And I love the phrase you used, joy and beauty in something ordinary. That feels like the real practice to me. Not finding extraordinary moments, but noticing the ordinary ones that quietly glow.
Your comment made me smile. I read “for keeping, for keeps” and immediately thought about the photo from the story. That moment was over in seconds, but the picture keeps giving it back to me. A small receipt from life saying, yes, that happened.
What a gift! Validation that you matter. Validation from a stranger who went to extraordinary lengths to do this wonderful thing that will delight you into the future.
Cindy, your line “validation from a stranger” really landed for me. There’s something about being seen by someone who has no obligation to see you that makes it feel extra pure. No history, no expectation, just a small human moment of recognition.
Nancy, I appreciate this kindness. And I laughed a little at the phrase “the usual doer.” That role can become such a comfortable identity. Then someone interrupts it with a gesture and you realize you have to practice receiving again.
LOVE this Alexander. ♥️🥰♥️. If I lived close enough to make it matter, I’d go on Yelp, or Google or wherever it made a mark and laud the sincerity of the staff and owner at this restaurant. They know what really matters! It’s small moments of being the show, the star 🌟. How sensitively sweet.
“Small moments of being the show, the star.” That line made me pause for a second. You’re right. For a few seconds at that table it really did feel like the whole room had quietly decided, this one matters. Not in a big dramatic way, just a very human one.
Thank you, Cheryl. What surprised me most was how such a small gesture ended up meaning so much. A photo, a sparkler, a stranger deciding the moment mattered. Sometimes that is all it takes to make a memory stick.
Celebrating a birthday especially when a surprise is brought to your attention is a wonderful feeling! Lately, I don’t think much about remembering my own March birthday. It generally goes by like any other day. But over my many long years on this earth I have been surprised a handful of times by others remembering my birth date and yes the joy that surprise brings is indescribable but remembered always as something special in one’s life. There are a few people that I know who truly deserve that special joyful feeling of being surprised and you are in the top ten of that list. My March birthday has passed and reading this today brought me joy. You can even say it surprised me with delight that you were presented with an unexpected surprise by an unknown entity. You deserve every ounce of the joy you experienced. My dear friend Alex, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Now knowing we share the same birth month somehow further links the connection I felt from the moment I discovered your extraordinary talents on Substack. I feel so lucky just knowing someone I have contact with is out in there in this tumultuously chaotic world helping others in a kind and caring manner. I sincerely hope your actual birth date will be another celebration of you, surprise or not, because your being born is something to celebrate. My wish for you is that others discover your Substack because so many of us need a person like you in our lives. Enjoy this month of March that brings about new beginnings much like Spring does, where freshness, aliveness and beauty lightens each step we take on another trip around the sun. ❤️🌼
Kathy, this is such a generous message. Thank you. And happy belated birthday to you too, fellow March traveler around the sun. There’s something I love about knowing we share the same month. It feels like we’re both standing in the same season of the year together, quietly celebrating in our own ways. I love the way you described the surprise being remembered “always as something special in one’s life.” That feels true. The moment itself might be brief, but the memory has a long life. I’m grateful this story brought a little of that feeling back for you.
Alex! Happy (early?) birthday! Please let me know the exact date if you feel comfortable sharing. I like to put my friends' birthdays on my calendar and send them a cheerful little text or card on that day.
So glad you were able to enjoy a flourless (!) cake with a sparkler (!) Sounds perfect for this gluten-free gal.
It's really beautiful to walk alongside you as you share with us the ways your life is changing and opening up. Thanks for letting us in.
Jeannie, I love that you celebrate people this way. A cheerful text or card on someone’s birthday can change the entire day. I’m curious, what made you start that ritual of keeping everyone’s dates on your calendar?
Mine is 3/22. I believe I have yours, but DM me yours?? I do also like to share notes with people to celebrate them.
Hi Alex, it’s on my calendar! :) You and Sarah are birthday month buddies. Hers is on Monday next week.
I can’t remember when I started doing this, but for special people in my life, I like to let them know—even if we haven’t spoken in a while—that I remember their special day and am sending them lots of love!
“All you have to do is receive it.” That’s the whole key, isn’t it, Alex. We are all worthy, and mostly decide it for others, but it’s so reaffirming when someone does it for us. May we also remember to do it for ourselves, to receive it from ourselves. ✨ Happy early birthday! You do, indeed, matter! 🩵
Thank you for this kindness, Nancy. Your words about worthiness feel very true. And I find myself smiling at the thought that sometimes life sends a stranger to remind us of something we were supposed to remember about ourselves all along.
I appreciate you saying this. Those lines came out of a realization I had looking through my phone one night. Thousands of photos, yet only a handful that actually felt alive when I looked at them. That was the moment the word evidence started to make more sense to me.
First of all, I'm sorry you suffer from migraines. I experience them now and then and they are no fun at all. It's funny how you checked that box saying you were celebrating a birthday when you made the reservation. I would not have checked it and kept my birthday a secret. This makes me wonder why this is. Why do we not take every chance we can get to celebrate and to allow others to "do" for us - to allow others to remind us in big ways and small ways that our lives matter?
I love how your birthday lunch turned out to be so enjoyable and that you found such pleasure in accepting the framed photo. What a nice momento to keep and look at from time to time. You didn't have to earn anything. All you had to do was receive.
Thank you for the wonderful reminder to do the same. I will try to keep this in mind. Happy birthday, Alex. May the 22nd be a delightful day, too!
What a beautiful celebration! You deserve to be celebrated. I'm a photographer for the memories. I have my phone and a digital photo frame, and I also print out photos for painting references, or just to have thm to look at. They make me happy. Hope you are the same. Love, Virg
I'm not sure how you do this. I find myself literally feeling the piece as I'm reading it. Smiling at the way you feel in the restaurant. With you while you and Luis peruse tattoos with the polaroid in your pocket. This was deeply meaningful and it conveyed so much more than the piece. The actual evidence of joy. Thank you. 🙏🏻
Ahhh this is so timely, as I too find it hard to simply just receive. I need to remind myself that allowing someone to gift me time/space/physical items is too a gift back to them, to allow them to be generous. It also helps me acknowledge the kinds of relationships I want to cultivate with my loved ones and the wider community.
Sarah, this resonates so much. That line you wrote about letting someone give being a gift back to them really landed with me. I forget that part all the time. Receiving can feel passive on the surface, yet it actually creates space for generosity to exist.
Alex - Love this story and that you put into context why the pre-birthday photo means so much to you. And you get to see if as proof on the regular. Priceless really.
Along these lines, different as it is, my suggestion would be purposely take your birthday off if it lands during the week and maybe even go ride that scooter around to your favorite places.
Thank you for this, Bronce. Your phrase “proof on the regular” really stayed with me. That’s exactly what the photo feels like. A small piece of evidence that joy showed up and someone thought it mattered enough to preserve.
Love this post, Alex! Great message to begin the day.
Thank you, Sue. That means a lot. I’m curious, what has been your evidence of joy lately?
I love everything about this. Thank you for reminding me. I do take a lot of pictures. Mostly when I find joy and beauty in something ordinary. That gives me pause. But you are right and printing what matters.
I appreciate this reflection, Heidi. And I love the phrase you used, joy and beauty in something ordinary. That feels like the real practice to me. Not finding extraordinary moments, but noticing the ordinary ones that quietly glow.
Will we welcome gifts?
Life’s a generous gifter.
For keeping, for keeps.
Your comment made me smile. I read “for keeping, for keeps” and immediately thought about the photo from the story. That moment was over in seconds, but the picture keeps giving it back to me. A small receipt from life saying, yes, that happened.
What a gift! Validation that you matter. Validation from a stranger who went to extraordinary lengths to do this wonderful thing that will delight you into the future.
Cindy, your line “validation from a stranger” really landed for me. There’s something about being seen by someone who has no obligation to see you that makes it feel extra pure. No history, no expectation, just a small human moment of recognition.
"I’m usually the one who does this for other people. I think about the gesture, the moment, the thing that makes someone feel seen."
It is extra sweet when someone else does it for the usual doer. I'm happy for you. Joyous upcoming birthday.
Nancy, I appreciate this kindness. And I laughed a little at the phrase “the usual doer.” That role can become such a comfortable identity. Then someone interrupts it with a gesture and you realize you have to practice receiving again.
So true! Receiving gifts graciously help the giver feel good about themselves.
LOVE this Alexander. ♥️🥰♥️. If I lived close enough to make it matter, I’d go on Yelp, or Google or wherever it made a mark and laud the sincerity of the staff and owner at this restaurant. They know what really matters! It’s small moments of being the show, the star 🌟. How sensitively sweet.
“Small moments of being the show, the star.” That line made me pause for a second. You’re right. For a few seconds at that table it really did feel like the whole room had quietly decided, this one matters. Not in a big dramatic way, just a very human one.
Awesomely fantastic birthday celebration!
Thank you, Cheryl. What surprised me most was how such a small gesture ended up meaning so much. A photo, a sparkler, a stranger deciding the moment mattered. Sometimes that is all it takes to make a memory stick.
Celebrating a birthday especially when a surprise is brought to your attention is a wonderful feeling! Lately, I don’t think much about remembering my own March birthday. It generally goes by like any other day. But over my many long years on this earth I have been surprised a handful of times by others remembering my birth date and yes the joy that surprise brings is indescribable but remembered always as something special in one’s life. There are a few people that I know who truly deserve that special joyful feeling of being surprised and you are in the top ten of that list. My March birthday has passed and reading this today brought me joy. You can even say it surprised me with delight that you were presented with an unexpected surprise by an unknown entity. You deserve every ounce of the joy you experienced. My dear friend Alex, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Now knowing we share the same birth month somehow further links the connection I felt from the moment I discovered your extraordinary talents on Substack. I feel so lucky just knowing someone I have contact with is out in there in this tumultuously chaotic world helping others in a kind and caring manner. I sincerely hope your actual birth date will be another celebration of you, surprise or not, because your being born is something to celebrate. My wish for you is that others discover your Substack because so many of us need a person like you in our lives. Enjoy this month of March that brings about new beginnings much like Spring does, where freshness, aliveness and beauty lightens each step we take on another trip around the sun. ❤️🌼
Kathy, this is such a generous message. Thank you. And happy belated birthday to you too, fellow March traveler around the sun. There’s something I love about knowing we share the same month. It feels like we’re both standing in the same season of the year together, quietly celebrating in our own ways. I love the way you described the surprise being remembered “always as something special in one’s life.” That feels true. The moment itself might be brief, but the memory has a long life. I’m grateful this story brought a little of that feeling back for you.
Alex! Happy (early?) birthday! Please let me know the exact date if you feel comfortable sharing. I like to put my friends' birthdays on my calendar and send them a cheerful little text or card on that day.
So glad you were able to enjoy a flourless (!) cake with a sparkler (!) Sounds perfect for this gluten-free gal.
It's really beautiful to walk alongside you as you share with us the ways your life is changing and opening up. Thanks for letting us in.
Jeannie, I love that you celebrate people this way. A cheerful text or card on someone’s birthday can change the entire day. I’m curious, what made you start that ritual of keeping everyone’s dates on your calendar?
Mine is 3/22. I believe I have yours, but DM me yours?? I do also like to share notes with people to celebrate them.
Hi Alex, it’s on my calendar! :) You and Sarah are birthday month buddies. Hers is on Monday next week.
I can’t remember when I started doing this, but for special people in my life, I like to let them know—even if we haven’t spoken in a while—that I remember their special day and am sending them lots of love!
“All you have to do is receive it.” That’s the whole key, isn’t it, Alex. We are all worthy, and mostly decide it for others, but it’s so reaffirming when someone does it for us. May we also remember to do it for ourselves, to receive it from ourselves. ✨ Happy early birthday! You do, indeed, matter! 🩵
Thank you for this kindness, Nancy. Your words about worthiness feel very true. And I find myself smiling at the thought that sometimes life sends a stranger to remind us of something we were supposed to remember about ourselves all along.
My favorite lines - “Documentation is automatic now. We capture everything and we keep almost nothing.
Evidence is different. Evidence requires someone to say: this one counts.” I absolutely love this essay! Thank you for sharing it!
I appreciate you saying this. Those lines came out of a realization I had looking through my phone one night. Thousands of photos, yet only a handful that actually felt alive when I looked at them. That was the moment the word evidence started to make more sense to me.
Hi Alex,
First of all, I'm sorry you suffer from migraines. I experience them now and then and they are no fun at all. It's funny how you checked that box saying you were celebrating a birthday when you made the reservation. I would not have checked it and kept my birthday a secret. This makes me wonder why this is. Why do we not take every chance we can get to celebrate and to allow others to "do" for us - to allow others to remind us in big ways and small ways that our lives matter?
I love how your birthday lunch turned out to be so enjoyable and that you found such pleasure in accepting the framed photo. What a nice momento to keep and look at from time to time. You didn't have to earn anything. All you had to do was receive.
Thank you for the wonderful reminder to do the same. I will try to keep this in mind. Happy birthday, Alex. May the 22nd be a delightful day, too!
What a beautiful celebration! You deserve to be celebrated. I'm a photographer for the memories. I have my phone and a digital photo frame, and I also print out photos for painting references, or just to have thm to look at. They make me happy. Hope you are the same. Love, Virg
Happy Birthday!
I'm not sure how you do this. I find myself literally feeling the piece as I'm reading it. Smiling at the way you feel in the restaurant. With you while you and Luis peruse tattoos with the polaroid in your pocket. This was deeply meaningful and it conveyed so much more than the piece. The actual evidence of joy. Thank you. 🙏🏻